I feel better today. Chuy and I argued last night but we got things straightened out. I do not like selfish people that lie and I told him straight out I will not deal with it. He understood and also saw that I was just sharing what I felt and didn't like the situation. He learned she lied and is doing something about it. I made a commitment to get the daycare situation ironed out. I am not going to be taken advantage of or have to be at the mercy of someone else. I still need to have a relationship with her as family and will not allow this situation to mess this up.
I am feeling better but not 100% yet from the surgery. I can tell that I am ready to get out but not excited to go back to work. Work sucks. Seriously.
I was talking to a friend yesterday about work and the fact that I am not doing what I love. I used to love recruiting, when I was actually recruiting. Now I am just doing tons of administrative work. It's not fun, I often disagree with hiring decisions but when things go wrong I am the one to get thrown under the bus. I used to be a phenomenal sourcing recruiter. I haven't sourced in so long I don't even know if I could. I've had my hands tied for so long that I honestly feel like I am incompetent now. I think my job is all about CYA these days and not about doing what is right and good for the company.
We can't afford for me to quit so I have to just swallow it and hope it might get better. Just reminds me of how important it is to get out of the debt that we are in. I'm working on it and I will get it out of my way. I will find a way to be happy again.
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