First Day at Work Post Surgery

Considering I had a rough night last night today was a great day.  I was really busy but it wasn't stressful busy like most days.  I had tons of phone messages and emails and three offers for a Pediatrician, FPOB and ER Physician a long with three phone interviews but it wasn't too bad.  Could it have helped that I told myself before walking in that I would not let the craziness that is my work life get me down?  Could it have helped that I prayed on my way to work and asked God for help and support to get through my first day back after almost a week off?  I had worked part of the day Thursday and Friday but it was really just to keep up with messages and positions so I wouldn't be so overwhelmed today.  I didn't leave work until 5:15 but it wasn't a bad thing, traffic was even lighter today than usual.

After work I picked up Bubba, my nine year old, from my parents and then headed home.  Chuy called to ask me what was for dinner.  I was kind of surprised cause usually the SIL has dinner done by the time I get home.  She was really tired from her weekend away so decided to hit the sack early and get some rest.  We ended up making Sloppy Joe sandwiches and fries. No, it wasn't the healthiest dinner but it sure scored quite a few points with the kiddos.  Bubba loves these messy sandwiches and little one, we call him BooBoo, loves the fries. It was nice to have the kitchen to ourselves and just share in the responsibility of making dinner.  I missed this part of our life and told Chuy.  He admitted that he liked us working together but he did not really like the "cooking" part.  I'll let him have that one.

After dinner I went to relax for a little while, I could feel a little irritation from my incision so decided to take some "feel good" pills and relax.  Bubba and I watched "Who's Still Standing" a little while and then Bubba and Booboo jumped into the shower.  I love to hear them play and get along and considering they are seven years apart they do get along well.  Bubba is a great Big Brother, he has to be cause after all Booboo is not like him at all.  Bubba is 9 going on 40, he has such an old soul; often so serious and patient.  Where Booboo is full of energy, never stops, is loud and does not know what patience is.  It's amazing how different they are but it's more amazing how much they love each other.

So I didn't eat too well today.  Not because I didn't want to but because I ended up going out to run errands with the gals for lunch and we stopped at McDonald's.  I ended up having a cheeseburger, fries and an orange drink.  It wasn't as healthy as the Lean Cuisine meal I had taken to eat for lunch but it was not as bad as it could have been.  I only ate half the small fries cause I shared with my coworker (remember the person I talked about that says she can't eat when she's stressed).  Tomorrow has to be better and I will make sure it is.  I have to bask in the blessings I had today; the time with the love of my life and my kiddos and the fact that I had a no stress work day.  God, if you're listening I could use more of these days and in case I forget, thanks for today.

Feel Better Today

I feel better today.  Chuy and I argued last night but we got things straightened out.  I do not like selfish people that lie and I told him straight out I will not deal with it.  He understood and also saw that I was just sharing what I felt and didn't like the situation.  He learned she lied and is doing something about it. I made a commitment to get the daycare situation ironed out.  I am not going to be taken advantage of or have to be at the mercy of someone else.  I still need to have a relationship with her as family and will not allow this situation to mess this up. 

I am feeling better but not 100% yet from the surgery.  I can tell that I am ready to get out but not excited to go back to work.  Work sucks.  Seriously.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about work and the fact that I am not doing what I love.  I used to love recruiting, when I was actually recruiting.  Now I am just doing tons of administrative work.  It's not fun, I often disagree with hiring decisions but when things go wrong I am the one to get thrown under the bus.  I used to be a phenomenal sourcing recruiter.  I haven't sourced in so long I don't even know if I could.  I've had my hands tied for so long that I honestly feel like I am incompetent now.  I think my job is all about CYA these days and not about doing what is right and good for the company. 

We can't afford for me to quit so I have to just swallow it and hope it might get better.  Just reminds me of how important it is to get out of the debt that we are in.  I'm working on it and I will get it out of my way.  I will find a way to be happy again.

Sunday post

Today was awful just awful. I didn't exercise and I ate horribly. I went way over my alotted budget for the entire weekend and I gained a pound. Ughh! It is all my fault, I have no one to blame but me. Maybe I can blame the rum and coke I drank last night.  I know, I can't.

Tomorrow will be better, I will get back on track and get motivated.  Right now I feel like sleeping. I am tired and am dreading going to work tomorrow. 

Work is the pits

So I thought this blog would be really about my weight loss journey but today work is the pits so I thought I'd write about it.  I like what I do, but I often hate that I have way too much work and not enough time to do things efficiently or to my customers or my own expectations.  I am a Recruiter for a large organization in New Mexico and as I said I love what I do.  What I do not like is the fact that I have too many positions to fill, not enough time to source and hiring managers on my back wondering why they have not had a viable candidate.  This whole situation has caused me to go into emotional eating often.  Why?  Because eating I can control.  I can't control people.
Over ten weeks ago everything was fine.  I didn't mind the work, I knew what I was doing and felt like my work was acceptable.  Now I feel blahhh.  We lost a Recruiter and so two of us picked up her work and with that responsibility there was no training.  Seriously, none.  I can recruit for almost anything but you have to learn an industry or about specific skill sets to be sucessful, we were never given this option.  We were just thrown into it.  No help, no training and others holding us accountable for something we didn't have a clue about.
This has led to a lot of emotional eating, thus adding to my weight gain.  So now that I've been stressed about work, I've been exercising. It feels much better and I don't feel as stressed.  Just really wish I had more time in the day to get things done.