My Weekend Blah

I love my guy but sometimes he kind of hard to like. He sometimes sounds more harsh than he means to and the kids get hurt or upset when he is just stating something.  They think he is yelling at them. I get why they would feel that way. He often hurts my feelings too.  I've told him how it makes us feel but he says he is not yelling.

My New Biz

I'm so excited!  I just started a new biz.  Ok, well I just signed up yesterday to be a Paparazzi Independent Consultant.  I love Jewelry!  All kinds, costume, fine, trendy, cutesy, all of it, I do not discriminate.  So yesterday I was online and happened to come across this company called Paparazzi Accessories.  All the jewelry is $5!  Seriously.  I had to research this one and yes it's true, all the jewelry IS $5!  Check out my page to learn more. 

If you are interested in selling let me know.  It is just $40 and that allows you to buy the jewelry at wholesale.  You make a 45% profit.  All the pieces sell for $5 and you earn $2.25 profit from each one.  I'll post more pics here when I get my jewelry.  So excited!

I feel bad that I'm happy

I know that's a weird statement that "I feel bad that I'm happy".  Why?  Because I am happy my Sister In Law has left back home but almost kind of feel bad because of it.  She did help us out a lot while she was here with the kiddo and house cleaning but honestly it was really hard to have her here.  I started to feel like I was crowded all the time at home.  We have a small house and having three adults and two kids was tough. 

I was able to find a new daycare for little one, and honestly they are cheaper than what we were paying his Sister.  So really we'll be saving about $24.00 a month.  We are still paying for her cell phone and although it would be nice to get rid of it I'm not going to argue about it with the man.  That is really up to him.  He does know we are paying for it and asked about it last night but again, I'm not going to bug about the $30/month we pay.  It's not worth the fight.  Could we use that money elsewhere?  Of course, but I'm sure it's better to just pay it than deal with "drama". 

Let's talk about my weight loss or lack of weight loss.  I haven't really been doing much lately, well besides walking during the day.  I just haven't felt motivated to exercise.  I started drinking Body by Vi shakes, my friends promotes these shakes, but I'm not too enthused about drinking these.  I don't know why I can't seem to get motivated right now but it's been really hard.  I think it's been really nice to have my house back after the SIL situation that I just like having time to myself in my kitchen again and just having the house be mine again.  I know it's probably weird to be happy about not having her here anymore considering she took care of little one, cooked and cleaned.  It is just better now.

Two Weeks Post Surgery

Today is two weeks post surgery and so far I feel great.  So if you didn't already know I had a transvaginal tape surgery.  It is embarrassing to talk about but honestly I am so glad I went to see my Doctor.  If I hadn't I'd still be suffering from major incontinence issues due to coughing, sneezing, and strenuous exercise.  I was so thrilled today, I had a cough attack today and wasn't embarrassed  because of leakage.  That means the surgery worked.  I am so thankful.  I will be so happy when I can start exercising again, at least I can actually work out now with no issues. 

So yesterday was Superbowl Sunday and yes we had friends over and lots of food.  I ate somewhat a lot but I didn't over eat as I would have.  I weighed myself this morning and was still the same as I was last week.  What I did notice about last week is that I didn't track anything.  I didn't track my food, water or exercise although not that I could really do much.  I walked a few days last week but nothing major.  Today I started tracking again on Loseit.com and walked at least fifteen minutes today.  I figured even fifteen minutes is better than nothing.  I walked with a friend of mine who said that recently she went to the Doctor and found out that her bad cholesterol was really bad and her glucose or sugars were really bad.  She said she had to start doing something and asked if she could join me on my short walks.  I figured I might as well take her up on it and start out small.  Baby steps are better than no steps right.

I have to learn to not stress eat.  I tend to do that a lot lately with the SIL situation and with work.  I am hoping the SIL situation with fix itself soon cause I am working on finding new daycare for little one.  I think once we are backing to just us four in the house and no SIL it will be better.  I do love her but our house is so small and it's hard to be just us as a family.  She's not good with boundaries and I am not good with dealing with crap.  As far as work goes, I just have to learn to not let some folks bother me.  I know I can't control others so I have to learn to not let them bother me the way they do.  I also have to learn to do something productive like go for a walk instead of go for a candy bar.  I do love chocolate therapy but it's bad for me. 

One thing I am doing really well on is the debt.  So I paid off two credit cards recently leaving the credit card balance to just around $4,000.  This is great because last year I had almost $8,000 in debt.  I had to really focus on the debt and pay what I could when I could but it worked.  Every time I had extra money from bonuses or something like that I paid down the balance.  I am hoping to get the remainder paid off and then move that money I've been paying to the truck or student loan.  It feels good to not be so stressed about debt.  I am totally accountable for the debt and realize if I can't afford it, I don't buy it.  Ok we don't buy it.

That is about all I have for my update, hope you all have a great week.  I'll update again soon.

February Already

Can you believe tomorrow is February 1st?  It's amazing how fast time flies.  Today was another good day although it was so darn busy I feel like I didn't get as much done as I wanted too.  I woke up late too so my day kind of started icky oh and I received a visitor.  So cramps and getting up late was not the best way to start a day.

I ate horribly today too.  When the visitor comes it's inevitable that I will end up eating crap.  I usually crave sweets, specifically chocolate and I know it's a mental thing but it's I have to have it.  I had chocolate twice today.  But it was worth it cause it made me feel better.  Again, I know it's a mental thing and I know when I get on the scale tomorrow that I am going to regret the chocolate but it tasted so good.  It's sometimes about feeling good.

The straight library knocks the analogue.

First Day at Work Post Surgery

Considering I had a rough night last night today was a great day.  I was really busy but it wasn't stressful busy like most days.  I had tons of phone messages and emails and three offers for a Pediatrician, FPOB and ER Physician a long with three phone interviews but it wasn't too bad.  Could it have helped that I told myself before walking in that I would not let the craziness that is my work life get me down?  Could it have helped that I prayed on my way to work and asked God for help and support to get through my first day back after almost a week off?  I had worked part of the day Thursday and Friday but it was really just to keep up with messages and positions so I wouldn't be so overwhelmed today.  I didn't leave work until 5:15 but it wasn't a bad thing, traffic was even lighter today than usual.

After work I picked up Bubba, my nine year old, from my parents and then headed home.  Chuy called to ask me what was for dinner.  I was kind of surprised cause usually the SIL has dinner done by the time I get home.  She was really tired from her weekend away so decided to hit the sack early and get some rest.  We ended up making Sloppy Joe sandwiches and fries. No, it wasn't the healthiest dinner but it sure scored quite a few points with the kiddos.  Bubba loves these messy sandwiches and little one, we call him BooBoo, loves the fries. It was nice to have the kitchen to ourselves and just share in the responsibility of making dinner.  I missed this part of our life and told Chuy.  He admitted that he liked us working together but he did not really like the "cooking" part.  I'll let him have that one.

After dinner I went to relax for a little while, I could feel a little irritation from my incision so decided to take some "feel good" pills and relax.  Bubba and I watched "Who's Still Standing" a little while and then Bubba and Booboo jumped into the shower.  I love to hear them play and get along and considering they are seven years apart they do get along well.  Bubba is a great Big Brother, he has to be cause after all Booboo is not like him at all.  Bubba is 9 going on 40, he has such an old soul; often so serious and patient.  Where Booboo is full of energy, never stops, is loud and does not know what patience is.  It's amazing how different they are but it's more amazing how much they love each other.

So I didn't eat too well today.  Not because I didn't want to but because I ended up going out to run errands with the gals for lunch and we stopped at McDonald's.  I ended up having a cheeseburger, fries and an orange drink.  It wasn't as healthy as the Lean Cuisine meal I had taken to eat for lunch but it was not as bad as it could have been.  I only ate half the small fries cause I shared with my coworker (remember the person I talked about that says she can't eat when she's stressed).  Tomorrow has to be better and I will make sure it is.  I have to bask in the blessings I had today; the time with the love of my life and my kiddos and the fact that I had a no stress work day.  God, if you're listening I could use more of these days and in case I forget, thanks for today.

Back on Track

Tomorrow is Monday.  It will be one week tomorrow that I had my surgery.  Unfortunately, I can not do anything strenuous for at least 3 or 4 more weeks but at least I can start watching what I eat again.  I didn't track my food or exercise at all last week on Loseit.com and honestly I haven't even stepped on the scale in a week.  I'm afraid too.  I didn't eat a lot but I didn't eat well last week.  I have to refocus my energy and recommit to getting back on track.

I still have a goal to lose at least 20 lbs by June, that means at least losing 4 lbs per month.  That's feasible when you look at it that way, it honestly looks almost attainable that way.  Maybe I just need to break every goal I have down like that so it will be easier to see they can be accomplished. It's all about baby bites right?

Didn't Win the Lottery, whatcha gonna do?

We buy lottery tickets pretty often.  Why?  Because you won't win if you don't play.  Seriously, it's true.  And I think it's just something to look forward to and dream about.

What would you do if you won the lottery?  I already have my list.  Check it out.

1. Pay off all my debt.  Remember this is quite a bit I'm thinking at least $250,000 to be clear.  (This includes my house and rental.)
2. Give to charity- first would be my church. Second to Joy Junction. 
3. Pay off debt of my close family.  
4. Buy a big awesome new house.
5. Put money away for kids college
6. Open two accounts for kiddos for their future. 
7. Buy Chuy's Mom a new house or build a new one.

That's about it.  I think I'd really focus on helping others if I had anything left.  I keep telling Chuy all we need is enough to pay off our bills.  Then I could quit my job, take care of my kids full time and spend my day with them and creating more content for this blog.  Wishful thinking I know, I just figure dreams are free.

One Creditor Paid Off

Remember I posted a while back about the fact that I was in debt?  Well good news, I paid off a creditor.  It took a while but with the help of CareOne I was able to get it paid off.  I can now move that money I would pay to that creditor to Capital One.  I've still got over $4,000 on this card but it sure is better than the $8,000 I had last year.  My plan is to add a little more every month to the CareOne program to get Cap One paid off as soon as possible.  I am hoping if I get a large return it will take a big chunk out of that debt.

I am not going to stress about my student loans right now, I have made the minimum payments and decided to use what I have to pay down the high interest debt.  I will get working on them as soon as we get the truck paid off.  We'll see how things work out.  Wedding/travel plans will just have to wait, I would prefer to go on a debt free vacation then to get more into debt to travel. 

I've learned that if I can not afford something I do not buy it.  It's not easy because there are things I want but I don't have to have them.  I have also learned that it is important to teach my kids to be responsible about money.  My parents tried and I chose to ignore their advice and warnings.  My parents have no debt and have their house almost paid off and are fairly set.  They do not struggle even after retirement and I know it's because they were always smart with their financial life.

Blogging is Therapy

Is it funny that I find this blog almost cathartic and a sort of therapy?  I had vented about my SIL, (who currently  lives with us to help take care of our two year old), about the fact that she pissed me off yesterday.  Honestly, I am so glad I had the opportunity to share my feelings here with no judgement.  I learned that we all have situations that are not ideal and that we can vent about them but we can't let them get us down.  We have to deal with them head on and move on. I realize this is not easy when you are dealing with family but it does not mean you have to lie down and take crap too. I love Chuy and I love my SIL but in order to allow these relationships to stay intact it is up to me to create solutions that help us all.

Here is my plan:

1. Secure another individual (not related) to assist with daycare
2. Be prepared to not like what is currently going on but learn to be open and communicate for the sake of our family.
3. Do not let other people into our relationship or allow them to get into our relationship.
4. Be appreciativee of SIL's help and support and tell her so.
5. Include her and solicit her feedback in selecting daycare, she's been responsible for this for sometime she will have some insight we might not.
6. Enjoy my home and family again.

This is just a plan that will hopefully allow enough emotional maturity to get things resolved and back to good.