Feel Better Today

I feel better today.  Chuy and I argued last night but we got things straightened out.  I do not like selfish people that lie and I told him straight out I will not deal with it.  He understood and also saw that I was just sharing what I felt and didn't like the situation.  He learned she lied and is doing something about it. I made a commitment to get the daycare situation ironed out.  I am not going to be taken advantage of or have to be at the mercy of someone else.  I still need to have a relationship with her as family and will not allow this situation to mess this up. 

I am feeling better but not 100% yet from the surgery.  I can tell that I am ready to get out but not excited to go back to work.  Work sucks.  Seriously.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about work and the fact that I am not doing what I love.  I used to love recruiting, when I was actually recruiting.  Now I am just doing tons of administrative work.  It's not fun, I often disagree with hiring decisions but when things go wrong I am the one to get thrown under the bus.  I used to be a phenomenal sourcing recruiter.  I haven't sourced in so long I don't even know if I could.  I've had my hands tied for so long that I honestly feel like I am incompetent now.  I think my job is all about CYA these days and not about doing what is right and good for the company. 

We can't afford for me to quit so I have to just swallow it and hope it might get better.  Just reminds me of how important it is to get out of the debt that we are in.  I'm working on it and I will get it out of my way.  I will find a way to be happy again.

Seriously? Are you kidding me?

I am seriously irritated. I just had surgery and my fiancee's sister tells me that their Brother and Sister in law are going to come over for a fish fry.  What is wrong with these people? I just had surgery and do not want company or gross stinky fried fish. Why would this be ok and she says they invited themselves.

I have to figure out how to get the daycare situation taken care of. I can't do this any more. I need my life back. I need my house back. I feel the depression starting again. I am ready to scream. Seriously, I want to chew someone's head off and at the same time I want to cry.

Weight Gain

I shouldn't be frustrated but I am.  I gained weight over the last two weeks, I know most of it had to be this week because I have not exercised at all this week.  I know I shouldn't feel bad cause i just had surgery but it's frustrating to get on the scale and see the gain.  I know once I am fully recovered I will focus on exercising and eating better again but it's just frustrating to know my hard work when down the tubes. 

Anyone else have something they want to vent about?  Feel free to comment here.

Post surgery

Day two post surgery. I am feeling ok although am really irritated by the fact that my fiancee is not pulling his weight. I had surgery yesterday and instead of making sure I had help he went to the casino said "He was feeling it." WTF is that exactly? He felt it was acceptable to go have drinks and gamble when I just had surgery and we have a two year old. I am so angry right now, I just want to smack him. He said he knew his Sister was here to help and he won $200 so I should be happy. Whatever. He can be so inconsiderate and selfish. 

Got through surgery

My surgery went well on Monday.  I had to be at the hospital at 6:30am, surgery was not until 8:30am but it went fast.  I had to wear a catheter for two days which I think was the worst part but so far I am doing ok.  I have had to take just a few pain meds which means I am managing the pain really well.  I have been sleeping a lot which I was told is normal, it takes a lot of energy to get moving.  My stomach muscles feel a little tight too, I'm thinking because I'm trying to heal.  Doc says I can not lift more than a gallon of milk, that's kind of hard cause I forget.  I am just not doing much at all so I don't risk lifting and hurting myself. 

Mom picked me up from the hospital Monday, she was there through the surgery and helped me get settled at home.  I slept most of the afternoon on Monday and then couldn't sleep that night. 

I am glad I had the surgery, I will just be very happy when I no longer have to worry about having an embarrassing moment.  Exercise is so hard these days, so I haven't been able to really focus on weight loss.  I am hoping this surgery will help and I will start to feel better about myself too.  Nothing is worse than being under 40 and feeling like an old lady wearing depends.  Yuck, that is not attractive at all.  My self confidence has really hit a low because of this issue so hopefully I will get back to being me soon.

Having Surgery Monday

I'll be having surgery Monday.  I'm not excited about the surgery in fact I'm kind of embarassed that I'm not even 40 yet and have to have this surgery.  I will be having a transvaginal tape to help with my incontinence issues.  It has gotten worse over the last year and it's really hindered my ability to exercise so I went to see a specialist and he said that I should have one.  So I go in Monday to have surgery.  It's just a quick day surgery, he says no longer than 45 minutes, but I'll have to refrain from doing anything strenuous for 4-6 weeks.  I'll post more about this as it happens.

I am hoping that after I recover I'll be able to exercise more and not have to worry about leakage.  Again, I know this is embarrassing but I'm sure I'm not the only person out there dealing with this issue.

In Debt and It Sucks

I hate being a slave to debt.  The problem is I have always had debt.  My biggest debt right now is my student loans.  I am tackling my credit card debt, one little bite at a time and honestly it's paid off.  Last year at this time I had over $7,000 in credit card debt.  I have decreased that amount considerably with the help of Care One.  I didn't want to use a debt management program but I couldn't manage getting the debt paid on my own because the payments I had made before were just to the interest.  I was never ever paying down any of the principal so I called Care One after reading several blogs and on Twitter about how they help others.

Yes, being in a debt management program will effect my credit negatively but I had already damaged my credit by only paying the minimum.  So I've bit a pretty big chunk and am hoping to get the last credit card paid off by this time next year.  My next step will be tackling the student loan debt.  The balance is enough to buy a fabulous car so my goal is to pay it off so I can start socking that money on to my mortgage.  I have several years before I can retire but when I retire I'd like to have as little bills as possible.  I also want to be able to help my kids when they go to school instead of getting them stuck in student loans the way I had to.
I will track my debts and what I pay off here.  If you want to get help and get out of debt contact Care One today.

Update on 90 Day Challenge

I'm doing pretty good on my challenge.  So far I've dropped a few pounds down to 172.8 this week.  I have been tracking all of my food/calories and exercises in the LoseIt App and have been exercising regularly.  I feel good although today I have a considerable amount of soreness in my tummy.  The Slim i& 6 Pack seems to be working.  I just hope I can continue this pace now that I go back to work.  Any suggestions? The weather is getting pretty icky right now so I'm thinking that I might have to figure out something else to do during my lunches to get moving.

So I borrowed my neighbors Wii Fit this weekend and we all had a blast with it.  I found someone selling it on Craigslist with the Zumba Fitness included for $80, normally would be $169 so I'm going for it.  I'll meet the lady tomorrow to buy it.  I'm pretty excited cause I like doing the Zumba classes.  Let's hope it is worth the money.  Oh I also borrowed her my neighbors Turbo Jam DVD and so far am liking it.  I did that for about 25 minutes today and was really sweating.  It's not as fun as HipHop Abs but it's still good.  I like to have some variety.

90 Day Challenge

I'm starting a 90 day challenge tomorrow.  My friend Laura is a Beachbody Coach so I'm joining her challenge, she will help to motivate and inspire me to lose the weight I need to over the next 90 days.  As I said in my New Years Resolution post, my goal is to lose weight.  Thirty pounds (30) to be exact by June.  That should be feasible, that is only 5 lbs per month.  I didn't want to make my goal something that would not be feasible.  I figured this would work.  I know I won't be able to lose all of that in the 90 days but I can at least do half of that within the 90 challenge.

Wish me luck!

Committment not Resolutions

I can't believe it's already 2012.  It seems like we were just starting the New Year.  So what are my plans this evening?  Not much really going to start out the New Year at home with my family, maybe some friends.  We are going to have a few glasses of wine, have enchiladas for dinner and have some sparkling champagne when the clock tells us to do so. 

What are my plans for 2012?  Well I am not going to make a resolution again, I never, ever keep them.  This time I am going to commit to doing things that I should and set small goals.

This is my list:

1. Lose 30 lbs  by June.  I think this is feasible and not out of reach and I am going to start on Monday.  
2. Save money- $5,000 to be exact. I still have to figure out how to do this.  I'm thinking start working on a budget, start saving more and trying to cut down on costs.
3. Pay off Credit Card debt so I can start hammering away at the student loan. We'll get more into this later.

There are just three, that doesn't seem too bad, does it?  I figure if I decide to commit to doing these three things I will be successful. 

I'm off to start a budget and a spreadsheet to keep track of our spending.